A Brief Biography

IMG_6351For most of my life I have loved dressing up. While other people my age only wore their Sunday best to Saturday-night high-school dances, I woke up every morning eager to button up a collared shirt and don some dress shoes, showing off my best to the world.
At the same time I have always struggled greatly with my identity. I didn’t find anywhere or anyone with whom I felt completely comfortable, and as a result my childhood years seem to me like a desert: I wandered from one dusty wasteland of so-called friends to another, thirsting for a group of people with whom I belonged.
I came to realize that my style mirrored my struggle. Each time I put on a suit, I also put on a mask, hiding my fears and flaws from the world as best I could. After I moved away to study at a university, though, I could no longer bear the pressure of maintaining a fake life. I had to let my friends know that my life is messy. In the course of my four-and-a-half years in college, I learned to take off my suit and wear in public the stained, torn-up clothing that was my life. I finally acknowledged that I live in a messy world of dirt.
I have learned three things through this struggle: first, I am not the only person who has been stained by falling. Everyone around me has made mistakes, been wounded and failed, whether they reveal it or not. Second, admitting my stains brings freedom while covering them up brings fear. When people learn to love each other no matter what our lives and histories contain, just as Jesus did, we can help each other find cleansing in the water and the blood which our Savior poured out for us. Third, life comes up from the dirt. The times we feel broken may just be the times when our Father in heaven is leading us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.
The world around us tries to keep a polished, clean look, and we cannot ignore that. Indeed, we must interact with it on its terms, yet we are to show it a still more excellent way. However, let us welcome the times when our lives are shown to have stains, for then we can accept each other for who we really are–and praise the God in whose image we are indelibly made.
This blog is made just for that. A place to deal with the struggles we face as we live in a messy, complex, broken world of dirt while living on its terms, wearing dress shoes.

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